vox nihili

Fleirzon .......... The bitter wind was edged in ice, stinging like the talons of a falcon; the slate stratus an omen of the torrents that would soon slice the air. ...

thanks, everybody who posted! I've been working on this one lately (Yeah, it's been a year since I posted it here...) and it's shaping up nicely. The characters have continued ...

Other people have already pretty much covered all the bases for "criticism" so I'll focus more on the scenario. One: Your intro is great. A kid who is flying to ...

I love the description. It has so much emotion! I really can't come up with anything at all to suggest. The phrase "smoldering wish" is so dramatic! In the begining, ...

Cool poem. Best thing I can come up with to say is try expanding it. I like the daring vibe it gives, and the rhyme is so straight-forwards, the meter ...

[ b]I watched as the moon rose slowly over the horizon. Her light tickled my skin and filled me with boundless energy. My eyes began to glow bright amber. I ...

I drew this on windows Paint. They're characters from my story, Fleirzon--Verdeyan and Gattlin. Comments and Critiques are most welcome. Thanks!

Nope. You're close, though. It does have to do with the sink. Try to come up with motive. That's the slipperiest thing in this story.

Valentine, again, you've got a great story going! There are only a few places I could find anything to critique: When he's talking to Derek in the cafeteria, you left ...

This was a pretty interesting read. I have only a few suggestions. One: we have no idea (until the part about the boys' dorm) that the character is a guy, ...

Part three: from the depths The next day, Clavia Lombarre had still not responded to the treatment administered by Emergency Room nurses, and was in the Intensive Care Unit of ...

Thanks for the input, guys! There's plenty more where this came from. I think the following chapters will be a bit more unusual. I built this around a premise of ...

This will be continued. ........... Part one: the irony of the dishwater The young man leaned up from the dishwasher, saying “It’s almost done, just another few minutes.” “That’s great. ...

Hi, I'm Voxina. I'll give you a review. I apologize in advance if I sound harsh. Okay, first, it needs punctuation. Try experimenting with commas, periods, semicolons, etc. It doesn't ...

These are great! I love them all... 1) the horse's hoof got cut off or is it not in the picture? I guess that's just the scanner. 2)the horse's eye ...